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Originally posted by GimpyPaw
As you may know, my neighbor owns a rooster, but you would never know it was his. The rooster has become like a pet to my 6 yr old daughter, and he follows her around the yard like a little feathery dog. This rooster has lost his fear of my family, and if you leave the door open, he will casually walk right into our house.
A little while ago, while I was trying to catch Lancer's mark of postings, I was eating dinner while sitting at the computer desk. Now you may feel that food and a computer don't mix, but normally it is not a problem. Today was different.
While eating and posting, I noticed that the chicken had come about 5 ft into the house and the door was wide open. As I usually do, I called for the dog to "Get the chicken!" At this time I was unaware that the dog was in fact already outside. The dog heard my command and did as ordered. He chased the chicken, and given their relative positions, this brought the Rooster deeper into the house.
Now I had the Rooster in the kitchen, and I didn't want this to get anymore out of hand. I blocked the door into the family room, and told the dog to stop, which he did (he is a very obedient dog, even if he takes my commands a little too literal at times). I should mention, for those of you who don't live around chickens, that the only thing that craps more than a chicken, is a frightened chicken. I didn't want the Rooster to panic anymore, so I called the dog to me. Unfortunately, the dog needed to pass the Rooster to do this, and natually the Rooster assumed that once again, the dog was chasing him.
The Rooster took to flight in an effort to evade the dog, and chose to land on an elevated surface. His chosen landing pad happened to be my dinner plate, which was on the computer desk. Now this wasn't the first time I've had chicken on my dinner plate, but I'm certain this was the first time I had a LIVE chicken on my plate.
I wasn't amused, and I yelled at the Rooster to get off my dinner. He obliged, and jumped up on the shelf above the desk, knocking off a portable CD player. The CD player fell, and broke my glass full of milk all over the desk. The milk quickly poured all over the desk, and began to run over the back edge. I grabbed a towel and started to mop up the mess, with the Rooster perched next to me watching to see what was next.
That's when I heard a crackling and buzzing sound from under the desk. The milk was pouring onto the surge protector that fed the computer, printer, scanner, fax, and monitor, along with the modem. I yanked the plug from the wall and lifted the surge protector, to move it away from the calcium fortified waterfall. I was rewarded for this effort with hot milk pouring out fo the box and onto my arm. Taking a mental note that a surge protector heats milk faster than a microwave, I yanked all the cords and emptied out the remaining fluids onto a towel.
Now, mind you, I still had this damned Rooster up above the desk, crapping on everything, and generally wondering how he was going to get out alive. I was concidering the option of ending his life right there, but that would have been even more messy. The Rooster failed to obey my command to "Get the Hell out of my House!", so I put a hand under each wing and sort of tossed him in the direction of the open door.
Now I had something of a mess to clean up. There was spilt milk, a drenched surge protector, wet documents and photos, feathers, and my favorite of all, a goodly supply of chicken droppings all over the place.
And for some reason, my wife blames me for all of this............
A little while ago, while I was trying to catch Lancer's mark of postings, I was eating dinner while sitting at the computer desk. Now you may feel that food and a computer don't mix, but normally it is not a problem. Today was different.
While eating and posting, I noticed that the chicken had come about 5 ft into the house and the door was wide open. As I usually do, I called for the dog to "Get the chicken!" At this time I was unaware that the dog was in fact already outside. The dog heard my command and did as ordered. He chased the chicken, and given their relative positions, this brought the Rooster deeper into the house.
Now I had the Rooster in the kitchen, and I didn't want this to get anymore out of hand. I blocked the door into the family room, and told the dog to stop, which he did (he is a very obedient dog, even if he takes my commands a little too literal at times). I should mention, for those of you who don't live around chickens, that the only thing that craps more than a chicken, is a frightened chicken. I didn't want the Rooster to panic anymore, so I called the dog to me. Unfortunately, the dog needed to pass the Rooster to do this, and natually the Rooster assumed that once again, the dog was chasing him.
The Rooster took to flight in an effort to evade the dog, and chose to land on an elevated surface. His chosen landing pad happened to be my dinner plate, which was on the computer desk. Now this wasn't the first time I've had chicken on my dinner plate, but I'm certain this was the first time I had a LIVE chicken on my plate.
I wasn't amused, and I yelled at the Rooster to get off my dinner. He obliged, and jumped up on the shelf above the desk, knocking off a portable CD player. The CD player fell, and broke my glass full of milk all over the desk. The milk quickly poured all over the desk, and began to run over the back edge. I grabbed a towel and started to mop up the mess, with the Rooster perched next to me watching to see what was next.
That's when I heard a crackling and buzzing sound from under the desk. The milk was pouring onto the surge protector that fed the computer, printer, scanner, fax, and monitor, along with the modem. I yanked the plug from the wall and lifted the surge protector, to move it away from the calcium fortified waterfall. I was rewarded for this effort with hot milk pouring out fo the box and onto my arm. Taking a mental note that a surge protector heats milk faster than a microwave, I yanked all the cords and emptied out the remaining fluids onto a towel.
Now, mind you, I still had this damned Rooster up above the desk, crapping on everything, and generally wondering how he was going to get out alive. I was concidering the option of ending his life right there, but that would have been even more messy. The Rooster failed to obey my command to "Get the Hell out of my House!", so I put a hand under each wing and sort of tossed him in the direction of the open door.
Now I had something of a mess to clean up. There was spilt milk, a drenched surge protector, wet documents and photos, feathers, and my favorite of all, a goodly supply of chicken droppings all over the place.
And for some reason, my wife blames me for all of this............
Rant, someone check this excel diet sheet I made and tell me what you think...
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