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  • #16
    So this woman was watching her daughter play with her barbies. She thought, "She is so cute!" Then she noticed her daughter was actually playing with Barbie and GI Joe. She said to her, "Hunny, doesn't Barbie come with Ken?" Her daughter, 9 years old, replied "No, she comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with Ken"

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    • #17
      Be prepared to laugh!!!!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxJRSmIBjd4

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      • #18
        So there are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Geez, is it me, or is getting a little hot in here?"

        The second muffin replies "Holy sh!t It's a talking muffin!"

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        • #19
          hahah this one time....

          17 year old FREAKST


          SUPPLEMENTS.NET REP

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          • #20
            Originally posted by succio
            hahah this one time....

            when it finishes spurting its almost the shape of the us, central and south america
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            • #21
              lmao you would.
              A Gold's Gym puppet - and proud of it.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Controlled Labs
                when it finishes spurting its almost the shape of the us, central and south america
                lmao, only you Labs.
                i!Please Support Me in My Log!i


                I have alot of questions and Im still pretty to new to bodybuilding so can you please help me out?



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                • #23
                  Two guys are talkin at the water cooler in the gym. One of the guys looks at the women on the tredmil and says "See that chick there? I love her but ive never even spoke to her" the other guy says "What?! why not?!" And the other guys says "Well every time i go to speak her, i get such an adrenaline rush, i get a hard on" the other man replies "Wow tough break, hey i got an idea. Why dont you tape your nob to your leg, that way it will never show"

                  *Two days later the guys meat at the water cooler again*

                  "So, what happened? You takin her out some time?" the other man replies "No, thanks to your idea i spent the night in jail" the other man is shocked "what?" the other guy says "I knee'd her in the eye!"
                  Your opponent can only win if you allow them too

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                  • #24
                    A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
                    He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
                    She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
                    Your opponent can only win if you allow them too

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                    • #25
                      Superman was feeling down in the dumps because he hadn't had sex in a long while. He met up with his boy Robin

                      Superman: I haven't had sex in ages man, its gettin me down
                      Robin: You should hook up with Wonder Womasn she is a great shag and would do anyone
                      *Batman strolls over*: Ye she even did the Butler

                      Superman ponders in this thought and hooks up with wolverine

                      Superman: I ahvent done it in ages
                      Wolverine: You should do wonder woman she is great

                      Superman ponders his thouhts while going for a fly around the world. He sees Wonderwoman sunbathing naked in the middle of a field. He thinks, im the fastest man in the world. I could do her, finish up and leave before she even realises. Damn it, im going in. So bat man Flies in and flies out again proud as punch.

                      Wonderwoman: "What the hell was that?!?!"
                      Invisible man: "I don't know but my ass is killing me!"
                      Your opponent can only win if you allow them too

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by burg
                        A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
                        He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
                        She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
                        LOL!

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                        • #27
                          Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
                          Because if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by RenegadeRows
                            Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
                            Because if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.

                            ha!
                            A Gold's Gym puppet - and proud of it.

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                            • #29
                              The Dam Beavers

                              This was a real letter sent...

                              The Letter from the Government

                              Dear Mr. DeVries:

                              SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec. 20, Montcalm County

                              It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

                              Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.

                              Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris dams and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the strewn channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request, or any further unauthorized activity on the site, may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

                              Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

                              Sincerely,

                              David L. Price
                              District Representative Land and Water Management Division




                              The Reply
                              Dear Mr. Price:
                              Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County


                              First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize, their dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural building materials "debris." I would like to challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

                              As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

                              My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter-being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda rights first.

                              As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy, or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!

                              In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem: bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

                              Sincerely,
                              Stephen L. Tvedten
                              Last edited by RenegadeRows; 04-04-2007, 06:04 AM.

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                              • #30
                                hah, you ever see national lampoons vegas vacation, has a part where they're at a dam and the tour guide goes on a "dam....." rant, its funny.
                                A Gold's Gym puppet - and proud of it.

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