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  • #61
    What'd the duck say to the hooker???

    Put it on my bill!

    Comment


    • #62
      A teacher asks her students, "If 5 birds are sitting on a fence, and you shoot at one with a shotgun, how many will be left sitting on the fence?"

      So almost all the students agree 4 birds would remain.

      The teacher sees one student shaking his head. She asks, "You don't think that's correct?"

      The student replies, "Well, technically, the other 4 birds would've been scared off by blast, so no birds would remain."

      The teacher replies, "Well, not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think."

      The student says, "Okay, I've got a question for you. 3 women are sitting on a park bench, eatting popsicles. The first licks the popsicle, the second sucks the popsicle, the third bites the popsicle. Which one is married?"

      The teacher replies, "I don't know, the one sucking the popsicle?"

      The student says, "The one with the ring on her finger. Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think."

      Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. - Psalm 144:1

      As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another - Proverbs 27:17


      Current Supps:
      Purple Wraath
      Green Magnitude
      Orange Triad
      White Flood
      Blue Up
      100% ON Classic Whey


      Ninety percent of everything is crap.

      Theodore Sturgeon
      US science fiction author (1918 - 1985)

      Comment


      • #63
        Originally posted by Spartan
        A teacher asks her students, "If 5 birds are sitting on a fence, and you shoot at one with a shotgun, how many will be left sitting on the fence?"

        So almost all the students agree 4 birds would remain.

        The teacher sees one student shaking his head. She asks, "You don't think that's correct?"

        The student replies, "Well, technically, the other 4 birds would've been scared off by blast, so no birds would remain."

        The teacher replies, "Well, not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think."

        The student says, "Okay, I've got a question for you. 3 women are sitting on a park bench, eatting popsicles. The first licks the popsicle, the second sucks the popsicle, the third bites the popsicle. Which one is married?"

        The teacher replies, "I don't know, the one sucking the popsicle?"

        The student says, "The one with the ring on her finger. Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think."

        I liked that one lol

        Comment


        • #64
          Originally posted by RenegadeRows
          Q: If a woman with big breasts works at "hooters", where does a woman with one-leg work?

          A: IHOP

          Reminds me of a few....

          Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on a wall?
          A: Art

          Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water?
          A: Bob

          Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a big toe?
          A: A golf club.

          Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?
          A: A rake.


          The following jokes MAY offend you. If they do, get thicker skin.






          Q: What do you call 5000 black people jumping out of an air plane?
          A: Night.

          Q: What do you call 5000 black people on a football field?
          A: Afro-turf.

          Q: How do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
          A: Hang one in the front.

          Q: Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?
          A: She kept throwing out all the W's.

          Q: How do you keep a blond busy?
          A: Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her put them in alphabetical order.


          Good times...


          Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. - Psalm 144:1

          As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another - Proverbs 27:17


          Current Supps:
          Purple Wraath
          Green Magnitude
          Orange Triad
          White Flood
          Blue Up
          100% ON Classic Whey


          Ninety percent of everything is crap.

          Theodore Sturgeon
          US science fiction author (1918 - 1985)

          Comment


          • #65
            Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water?
            A: Bob
            YES!!!! Lol

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by Spartan
              Reminds me of a few....

              Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on a wall?
              A: Art

              Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water?
              A: Bob

              Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a big toe?
              A: A golf club.

              Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?
              A: A rake.


              The following jokes MAY offend you. If they do, get thicker skin.






              Q: What do you call 5000 black people jumping out of an air plane?
              A: Night.

              Q: What do you call 5000 black people on a football field?
              A: Afro-turf.

              Q: How do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
              A: Hang one in the front.

              Q: Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?
              A: She kept throwing out all the W's.

              Q: How do you keep a blond busy?
              A: Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her put them in alphabetical order.


              Good times...





              Ah that's good ol' fashion family racism.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by adrian andras
                Ah that's good ol' fashion family racism.

                Funny thing is I heard those jokes back in elementary school from others. My family nor I are racist. Hell, my wife is hispanic. But funny is funny, preiod. Got some ones about white guys? I'd love to hear them!
                Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. - Psalm 144:1

                As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another - Proverbs 27:17


                Current Supps:
                Purple Wraath
                Green Magnitude
                Orange Triad
                White Flood
                Blue Up
                100% ON Classic Whey


                Ninety percent of everything is crap.

                Theodore Sturgeon
                US science fiction author (1918 - 1985)

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by Spartan
                  Funny thing is I heard those jokes back in elementary school from others. My family nor I are racist. Hell, my wife is hispanic. But funny is funny, preiod. Got some ones about white guys? I'd love to hear them!
                  I know, Racism is hilarious (Carlos Mecia show for zample)

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Well while on the topic of racism....

                    3 men are on a plane, one American, one German and one Pakistani
                    The plane is crashing so the men decide to throw things off in order to lose some weight and allow the plane to fly again
                    The pakistani throws some curry off the plane and says "thats ok, weve got plenty of that stuff at home"
                    The German throws some Frankfurters off the plane and says "thats ok, weve got plenty of that stuff at home"
                    The American throws the Pakistani off the plane and says "thats ok, weve got plenty of them at home"


                    or a quicker one...
                    Man: Hey rasta i like those sunglasses
                    Rasta*in rasta accent*: Dems no sunglasses, dema my nostrils

                    or....

                    A rasta walks into a casino with Pikachu, the man asks the rasta what Pikachu will be playing *in accent* "poker mon"

                    another....
                    A man on a plane shows the man next to him a trick, he guesses where he is by putting his hand out the window..
                    man#1:Were in France
                    man#2:howd u know?
                    man#1(now gunna b called fred): i just touched the top of the eifel tower

                    he repeats his trick
                    fred:were in italy
                    man#2(jim): howd u know?
                    fred: i just touched the leaning tower of pisa

                    he repeats his trick
                    fred: were in queens
                    jim: how the hell do u know that?
                    fred: my watch has been stolen
                    Your opponent can only win if you allow them too

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by burg
                      Well or a quicker one...
                      Man: Hey rasta i like those sunglasses
                      Rasta*in rasta accent*: Dems no sunglasses, dema my nostrils
                      Roflcopter

                      Comment


                      • #71


                        No, this is a roflcopter.

                        Roflcopters mission:
                        The ROFLCOPTER is an important part of the defense of LOLrville. Along with the LMAOplane, TTYLnukes, and our troops carrying AFK47s, the ROFLCOPTER is used as a mobile troop carrier, and anti-TTYLTank weapons platform.
                        Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. - Psalm 144:1

                        As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another - Proverbs 27:17


                        Current Supps:
                        Purple Wraath
                        Green Magnitude
                        Orange Triad
                        White Flood
                        Blue Up
                        100% ON Classic Whey


                        Ninety percent of everything is crap.

                        Theodore Sturgeon
                        US science fiction author (1918 - 1985)

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Spartan


                          No, this is a roflcopter.

                          Roflcopters mission:
                          The ROFLCOPTER is an important part of the defense of LOLrville. Along with the LMAOplane, TTYLnukes, and our troops carrying AFK47s, the ROFLCOPTER is used as a mobile troop carrier, and anti-TTYLTank weapons platform.

                          Fucking genious

                          Comment

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