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  • chuck norris jokes

    I'm bored. What are your favorite Chuck Norris jokes?

    Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

    Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

    When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

  • #2
    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
    jdouchebag for president

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    • #3
      hahahahahahahaha

      chuck norris jokes never get old. it's like pizza the morning after... you guys suck

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      • #4
        Originally posted by strester
        When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
        ROFLTOASTERZ !!!

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        • #5
          Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

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          • #6
            1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
            2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
            3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
            4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
            5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
            6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
            7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
            8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
            9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
            10. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING


            Chucks Fav. - picked by the man himself.

            1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

            2. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

            3. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

            4. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

            5. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

            6. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

            7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

            8. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

            9. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

            10. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

            11. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

            12. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

            13. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

            14. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

            15. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

            16. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

            17. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

            18. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

            19. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

            20. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

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            • #7
              hmmm...chuck norris is a really good guy.....

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              • #8
                ill say.... i grew up watchin chuck do his thing... he is the reason y i work out now dayz..

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by itach87
                  hmmm...chuck norris is a really good guy.....
                  Chuck is not a good guy, he his a really really great guy, Come on now. GIve the man respect.
                  If you have to cheat to win, why bothering playing..

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