So as many of you may know, I'm married. I've been married for 11 months now, but I've been together with my wife for FIVE YEARS. She has been with me through a lot in my life, including my weight gain. In fact, over the course of our relationship I gained 145lbs (and lost back most of it so far ) and she has gained around 70lbs. This has no real relevance to my issue, just laying down the backstory.
My problems are thus:
My wife and I have had sex a total of 13 times in the past year, 9 of which were in a two day span where she suddenly got horny. That means aside from those 9 times I get physically attention only once every three months. Now, I tried for the longest time to tell myself it didn't bother me, BUT IT DOES... I've always been the physically intimate type, she just isn't. I'm not talking purely sex either, I'm referring to making out, foreplay, oral, etc.. We've talked about the issue and she just 'doesn't feel attractive' and my losing weight has made her have even more self-esteem issues. I've tried over and over to get her into the gym with me, it just doesn't work. I've tried to get her to eat healthier, and it falls on it's ass.
The downfall to all of this is that I'm finding myself not attracted physically or emotionally to the person she is. She hasn't really 'changed', but I have. I've grown in so many ways, and lost in so many others, I'm not the same person I was this time last year. But where does that leave my wife and I?
There are a lot more 'small' issues, but I guess my question is this..
What do you do when you find that the person you fell in love with isn't the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with... I want someone who supports my fitness journies and helps to push me harder, not someone who brings that down and makes my struggle even harder. Or am I just over-analyzing and none of this matters on a larger scale when my marriage is what is important?
I realize this was a long post, but please don't respond unless you have sincere intentions. This comes straight from my heart right here..
My problems are thus:
My wife and I have had sex a total of 13 times in the past year, 9 of which were in a two day span where she suddenly got horny. That means aside from those 9 times I get physically attention only once every three months. Now, I tried for the longest time to tell myself it didn't bother me, BUT IT DOES... I've always been the physically intimate type, she just isn't. I'm not talking purely sex either, I'm referring to making out, foreplay, oral, etc.. We've talked about the issue and she just 'doesn't feel attractive' and my losing weight has made her have even more self-esteem issues. I've tried over and over to get her into the gym with me, it just doesn't work. I've tried to get her to eat healthier, and it falls on it's ass.
The downfall to all of this is that I'm finding myself not attracted physically or emotionally to the person she is. She hasn't really 'changed', but I have. I've grown in so many ways, and lost in so many others, I'm not the same person I was this time last year. But where does that leave my wife and I?
There are a lot more 'small' issues, but I guess my question is this..
What do you do when you find that the person you fell in love with isn't the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with... I want someone who supports my fitness journies and helps to push me harder, not someone who brings that down and makes my struggle even harder. Or am I just over-analyzing and none of this matters on a larger scale when my marriage is what is important?
I realize this was a long post, but please don't respond unless you have sincere intentions. This comes straight from my heart right here..
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